LadyMoon

I Wanted to Feel ...

I wanted to ignore
The restrictions of this world
To ignore the pleasures
Of this empty humanity

I wanted not to be a body
In this raw freedom
Not to listen to the echo
Of these lonely walls

I wanted not to have to see
The gloating faces of victory
The sun darkening
In the obscured secrecy

I wanted to feel lightly
Wanting Nothing
Only to be

Sorrow

This eternal sorrow of the soul
This disenchantment of being
This maladjustment of life
This emptiness of want
This eternal fear of suffering

I cant reach myself
I seek so much inside
I look for the closed source
I feel the water running
It dries in my silenced mouth

It's like denying happiness
It's like suffering in wonder
It's waiting without time
It's the hope in despair
It's resting in fatigue

Lightness

I am seeing
Images of my subconscious
Hawsers that come unfastened
The rudder that takes direction
All the world ahead

I am feeling
The touch that touches my touch

The force that doesn’t force me

The glorifying sense of seduction
The pleasure of satisfied desire

The entwining of two in one

The emergence of the sublime to be

It's not a dream
It's you in me

Disillusion

Her face, like stone
Draw a bitter rite in her rigid lips
Her clear eyes, lifeless
Stare at the emptiness
Her bent body
Leans on her uncertain walk.

In the silence of the night
The whisper of the wind
Hurts her aching soul
Fading her in a tired tumult.

She follows her footsteps
Wherever they lead her
As if a doomed
In an unconscious grief.

Invading her brain
Flashing memories
Of days of dream, once lived
Longing pains craves her chest
And a tear rolls down her face.

A sunbeam erupts shy
Behind the dense fog

Hitting her face
Brightening her eyes
A new day being born.

Place to be

In this floating life, diverse
My heart is a chamber
Full of memories
Of people that have passed
Some symbolic, with whom nothing lasted
Others, like oak roots
Profound and strong

Unintentionally, I sculpt my thoughts
Recording permanent memories
In this world
Where to be and to exist wasn’t enough
My life, complicatedly simple
Confused me sometimes
Like a shadow, annoys me
Because it follows me

My reasoning
Tumbles in these feelings
I feel everything in all ways
Although I seek for peace
In nature, without people
Or full of few people
My nature is there
Fragile imperfect
So needed

Then I realise
I lived so many things
And I was amazed with so much of them
Still, all was so little
That I thought about leaving
To meet the rest of the world
Or simply to have a place
To feel, I need a place
A home, to be home

© 2007 Fernanda F. Rocha. All rights reserved

Sea

Sea, my dear friend

Don’t tell me about your sorrows

I don’t want to hear them today

Sing me a song instead

One of yours

That only you know how to sing

But sing it slowly

In a soft murmur

Wash in it my wounds

Gently caress my soul

Wrap me in your arms

Let me fall

In a peaceful rest

Now, please take my heart

Keep it safe with you

Don’t let it be moved by

Burn at any fire

Save it from all harm

Let it rest peacefully

Then lend me your magic feather

It’s smoother in its writing

I will write a story

Like a poem

About a heart keeper

So that honourably

Accomplished her task

You Are Life

Her aching glance, fixed in the nothing
Allowing the emptiness of her soul to appear
And a pain that tears her chest
Consuming her in a despair without truce

The curtain of her dreams closed itself
Leaving her an existence that she doesn't want to live
An enormous longing that she doesn't want to feel
A figure lost behind a thick fog

The noise of the solitude
Annoys her tired thoughts
And the rain cries her tears
For her eyes can no longer cry

Her steps drag themselves
Through a desert of anguishes
And in a walk without a destination
Like doomed …

She finds the sea....

The sea welcomes her, murmuring softly
Caressing her penance soul
Speaking to her smoothly
About the beauty that is carried in life
When it’s lived fully

Tells her all it can contain...
About its richness
About its essence
About the suffering it can cause
About pain it’s able to inflict
About its pleasures
... And why it is so amazingly beautiful

And in a caress, almost eternal
The sea washes her wounds
Telling her…
Never stop giving love all that love is
It’s ok to cry
… You are life

Saudade

Such a weight you carry within you
It's the uniqueness of your kind
That shows your greatness and generosity
That turns impotent those who think
They can dismember you in pieces

There is no word in the world
That comprises such wonder of feelings
There is no word that can describe
The world of feelings you keep within
It's your fate to carry that weight

And times like this…
I wonder if it is Saudade when I feel….
This constant longing for my love, very far away
This dreamy wish-fullness when her voice I can't hear
This wistful distance when I look at the immense sea…
That keeps her so far from me
This discontent of soul when I don't see her smiling face
This nostalgic sadness when we have to say good night…
And still be apart

Is that close to all you mean?
I believe it is…just the start

Douro River

In the deceiving calm of her golden, glistening waters

She tries to conceal her turbulent nature

and her deep revolt within her soul

She runs agitated

hitting the margins drawn by man

ignoring the ache of wounds that tear at her womb

releasing a docile murmur of contained pain

In her agonizing journey to the sea

She drags the deposits of the previous night's storm

that devastated all that stood within its path

And when her passage comes to the end

As she finally meets the tumultuous sea

I'm blinded by the immenseness of their embrace.

12/11/2006

Light

In this mind

disrobed of pressures

dance infinite possibilities

to the savour of a soft melody

In this sweet, calm peace

it is recreated, in a placid smile

of those deep eyes

a discreet penetration

of an intense light

In this entire satisfaction of desire

there is a paganizing of emotions

there is an undressing of senses

there is a mute protest to the passions

there is a silence of even the silence

There is only light....

Reasoning My Reason

I travel kilometers in my mind
Trying to reason my reasoning
To think…what do I really think
I try to rationalize, to analyze, to synthesize
Yet does anything makes sense to me
As I walk in the confusion of my confusion

I question myself
Why my heart hurts
Why do I think to be mine, what was mine
Why did life take way from me what it didn't give
Why is it, my pain gets confused with my emptiness
Why don't the lions born in cages know chains
Everything gets lost in the emptiness

Unaware of what surrounds me
Looking at the hours as they go by
Without noticing me
Even the silence I cannot hear
My eyes are precipices
Everyone gets lost in their emptiness
I look at the darkening horizon and I see
The Idea of love in a pile of ruins

What tortures me is looking at my strange soul
Like a life of night without a dawning

Through fatigue, my dissonance
I look for my reason
I lose myself in the wondering
Coming to the point
To declare myself
Temporary incapable
Of reasoning my reason

Rage

Rage that tears the bodies
In a deformed grimace
Of its look

Rage that comes out from the soul
Germinated in the interiors
Perspired to each movement

Rage dries, cold
Contained, unrestricted
Ignoble, Slippery

Plague that runs in the blood
In the bowels fecundated
Throwing germs on whom it falls

Rage that brings pain
Pain that betrays

Hope

You sought the peace
To calm the fire
That burned in your chest
In a keen anguish
Of a sea of uncertainties

You opened your heart's gate
And it was not in vain
You paid the price
When you activated the ember judged ashes
That were in your body, forgotten
Causing them to crackle
Burning again

You wept then with joy
In the rage that left from that hurt soul
Tears that vary the evil that consumed you.
Again, hope was reborn.

Poor Lost Soul

Your afflicted face
Doesn't shock the eyes
Of whom don't see it

Your retracted bitterness
Shall not be captured
For whom doesn't hear

No! you don't shine like this
You don't penetrate the petrified hearts
Of the weeds that surround you

You crawl, you provoke disgust
Learn how to live in this world
Use an impenetrable  mask

Don't let yourself to be contaminated
Repel the worms that thrown you
And attack smiling, always smiling

The Colours Of My Heart

I can't paint the words

It's all black or white

I can't fake the colours

When my heart is blind

I can't cry the pain

The pain aching in my soul

I can’t even sustain

The pain I ignore

I can't seek my dreams

The dreams I have lost

I can't reach what seems

Was my life and I forgot

The Caged Heart

Tum tum, tum tum
Like a doomed
Pumps the blood
In and out
Not knowing why

In its painful movements
Gave up to remember
When incarcerated itself
Behind that cold cage
Anesthetized for life

In its heart blindness
Suffocates the cry
Drowning the tears
In its arching bowels
In a tired fatigue

A flash glimpse
Crosses the cold grating
Hitting like a shock
The thought dead
Inner feelings

Brings to the surface
Powerful emotions
speeding its beats
In intense waves
Busting in light again

Presumed Guilty

Ladies and Gentlemen, this woman is guilty
Guilty of hideous crimes of…love

She is guilty of…daylight dreaming

Of happiness seeking

She is guilty of…pure feeling

Of wanting and believing

She is guilty of…a heart bleeding

Of unconditionally trusting

She is guilty of…

loves blindness

For her guilt she shall be punished

The penalty shall be severe

She shall be doomed never to trust her emotions

Doomed, to never have joyous feelings

She shall be doomed to wear a shredded heart

Doomed, to forever cry a river of tears

She shall be doomed to never love again

Doomed, to watch others walk hand in hand

she shall be doomed to simply exist

so…

let the sentencing begin…

The Perfect Sculpture

I built a cathedral in my heart
Sculpting there my masterpiece
The perfect woman, body and soul
Like no michelangelo could duel

I've dressed her in the most ardent touch
With a voice as running crystal water
Her eyes of the most rare gem
A dazzling smile that shades the sun

Such a wander from form in my poetic art
To think to sculpt with my poetry pen
A piece too perfect to be permanent
A flawless wonder for this errant world
Where everything is uncertain and final
Where all it is dispersed and nothing is entirely
Where there are so many deserts of deserted souls

© Fernanda F. Rocha. All Rights Reserved

Only One Breath

I want to love, to love of only one breath

To be fascinated without a conscience

To feel divided, imperfect soul

To create dreams made of uncertainties

To see in the eyes a flame being born

To let my touch wander in a body of fire

I want to allow, to allow love to mould me

To conquer with the audacity of a free heart

To express my feelings without disguise

To give my heart to a thousand desires

To fully give myself to a gentleness of a caress

To make love for love, without any guilt

To love of only one breath

In the eternity of a single moment

Leave The Poetry To Reign

The wars are terror, darkness
a despicable face of the human being
it is false in everything that it defends
it is false the reason that sustains it

It doesn't matter what war is
the one that kills with firearms
the one that sows the hate of ones frustrations
the one that germinates ones unhappiness

It leaves filthy tracks
it destroys the purest thoughts
it generates slavery and avarice
it usurps freedom

Let the real existence of the universe to flow
leave humanity to humanism
leave the light to enter
leave the poetry to reign

© 2007 Fernanda F. Rocha. All rights reserved

Sunset

I like to go to the beach at the end of the day

only to look at the sunset

it is more beautiful seen from beach

it dives slowly into the sea

in a wonderful symbiosis

it warms heart

when sharing that union

Today it is hot

it seems already the heat of the summer

the sun is more mettlesome

but it is still spring

I can see the heat that emanates of him

it is not less beautiful than the winter sun

it is just different

less intense

it has a softer beauty

it also warms my soul looking at it

Once a Dream…

She, that made me, a wandering soul

A figure that dispersed itself

A heart dizzy, torn

Distant oasis of vast memories

Love pieces, dragged without faith

Delirious sobs, full of pain

Remains, this empty shell and, a wandering tear

Nailed lances, permanent

All the combats, destroyed

A flame that once was, extinguished

A complete abandonment to this fatigue

A scream silent, heroic

Of a dream that is born…

Undone

The Boy And The Flute

He sits down on the sand
And speaks to the sea
That calms
Coming gently
To kiss his feet

His fragile fingers
Take the flute to his lips
and of it echoes
the sweetest melody

The little fish
they jump quickly
as if called to see
who plays like that

In such a vast stage
They dance cheerfully
Drawing in the air the notes
that leave from the flute

Far away, in the high sea
the mermaids wake up
Charmed with that magic sound
And come to join
Filling the night
With their beautiful songs

The flashing beacon of the lighthouse
dancing happily
an array of  colors
On that life stage
That was being born
On a moonlight night
by the sea.

SHARED VISION

Time is faking…
It is sleeping to give us time,
the time we need for us.

So as the tide and moon continue their waltz in flawless synchronicity,
life’s dance floor remains motionless for us,
while together we calm our apprehension and awkwardness
to explore new steps.

Can you feel it?
Can you feel the peace?
A sensation more subtle than a whisper
yet more powerful than a prayer.

With each move…
We grow more daring as we take turns leading and following,
until gradually our tense two converge into a trusting one,
relishing a fresh, raw rhythm unique to only us.

Can you hear it?
Can you hear this song?
A calling so strong
emerging from the immense sea
I see within your eyes.

With each glance…
emotional cacophony within our hearts is quelled by unspoken words.
Chaotic clamor within our minds is soon replaced by a soothing harmony of heartbeats.
It sounds so natural and vaguely familiar.

Can you see it?
Can you see this perfection?
A miraculous poem in creation,
your body molded into mine.

With each touch…
frozen rivers of emotions thaw after a long, harsh freeze,
flowing wild and uninhibited, teeming with energy, life and beauty.
Our icy cold shades of grey and white
magically transform into a panoramic palette of vibrant living color.
A shared vision of hope has been born.

It’s as if, for a brief moment that feels like forever,
we’ve been…
Unfrozen in time.

Why Do We Dress The Soul?